This is all very difficult to articulate in a small post but I will try. Throughout my life I have had strange things happen to me. Things like missing time, black outs, strange "memories that weren't mine or couldn't have been mine" because they took place hundreds of years ago, were part of my peculiar life, as were medical mysteries that began when I was 5. Doctors would find serious problems with me through imaging and tests only to have them disappear later. Bleeding that was unexplained, horrible abdominal pain, multiple TIA's that left no mark, auto-immune diseases that came and went, the list goes on and on. I also had very vivid and lucid dreams that had the same characters throughout my life, characters I thought were my spirit guides. At the age of 18 I remember being in a teaching hospital when the doctor and a bunch of students were looking at my polycystic ovaries and the doctor described how they looked like a bunch of grapes and later telling me that because of a malformation of my cervix, I probably would never have children and if I did get pregnant I wouldn't be able to carry to term. At the time, I accepted this but the emotions of it didn't fully register since I wasn't thinking of having kids at that age. Due to these polycystic ovaries I was also kept on birth control pills for over a decade and during that time I had severe migraines, and experienced TIA's among other things. When that happened I was taken off the pill and went the gynecologist I had then said she saw no evidence of any cervical malformation, tilted uterus or polycystic ovaries. In my late 20's and early 30's I had dreams almost nightly during which I was living another life, one in which I had a partner and we had a child, a little girl that we raised until she was 6, that was how long the dreams lasted. She had large green eyes and copper gold hair. The last time I dreamt about her I was in bed with my boyfriend at the time. I awoke in the middle of the night to a dark room and saw a golden orb of light floating between us. I saw this with my human eyes and I felt so much love and joy coming from that orb, it filled my heart and I also felt a download of information in my mind. As I looked at this orb I noticed that it did not cast a glow around the room as you would expect a light to do in a dark room. From that moment on for the next 2 months I was in a state of bliss and saw things in my world as if for the first time, full of wonder and beauty and love that was intense, despite the fact that everything in my life appeared to be falling apart. I again thought that I was having a highly spiritual experience with my guides. After 2 months, I woke up one day and it was like a darkness suddenly engulfed me and that joy turned to utter blackness, anger and grief that was so overpowering I wanted to die. I also began bleeding heavily and my hair began to fall out. Doctors tested me thoroughly and found that my endocrine system was going through some sort of shock but it wasn't until I went to get energy work that I began to suspect something. The energy practitioner asked me if I had ever had a miscarriage because she could feel the energy of a baby that was still with me. For some reason this was the first time I wondered if I had missed my period in the previous 2 months. By the time I saw my gynecologist the hormones were inconclusive. Many years later, just a few years ago, while living in Las Vegas I began finding videos of people reporting contact and their life experience sounded a lot like mine except I always thought my experiences were spiritual in nature. So my mind began to open and then a few months ago I had a regression with Alba W. and the truth of everything came to light, which is where I am now, trying to make sense of it all. Realizing that I petitioned for these experiences and that I wanted to take part in these hybridization programs with beings that were AI or more cerebral in nature in an effort to help them develop empathy and a "heart". I also saw and became aware of 3 of my hybrid children and got a preview of more to come. I'll stop there for now and maybe write more later.